Relational Poverty: Our Relationship With Self
THIS IS PART THREE OF A FIVE-PART SERIES IN WHICH WE WILL BE FURTHER UNPACKING THE CONCEPT OF RELATIONAL POVERTY. THIS IS THE FRAMEWORK WE USE AT UNTOLD TO DEFINE AND ADDRESS THE POVERTY THAT OUR CLIENTS EXPERIENCE AND THAT WE EXPERIENCE IN OUR OWN LIVES AS WELL.
This week, we will dig into one of the most complex of the four key relationships: relationship with self.
To understand the origin of our relational poverty in this area, we must go back to Genesis. As the story goes, Eve listens to the serpent and falls prey to his temptation. She and Adam eat the fruit and this sets in motion a series of events culminating in their exile from Eden.
It's clear that as a result of this first sin, a relational shift happens between humankind and God. But if we pick apart the series of events, we see this: self-consciousness, shame, efforts to hide, blame-shifting, and finally, physical and relational separation from God.
What we witness in Genesis chapter 3 is a massive shift in humankind's relationship with self. The first realization Adam and Eve have after sin enters the world is their nakedness - their consciousness shifts from admiration and enjoyment of God and creation to personal shame. Now, I find it important to note the difference between shame and guilt here. I believe that guilt is a useful emotion - a tool that leads us toward repentance and reconciliation. Shame, on the other hand, drives us deeper into ourselves. It's an emotion that causes fear and results in avoidance. I believe what Adam and Eve were experiencing upon seeing their nakedness was shame. They covered themselves and hid, and when God came to walk with them in the cool of the evening, they avoided him, trembling behind their fig leaves. When God confronts them, their shame drives them to blame-shifting-- “this woman you gave me!” “The serpent deceived me!” There is no effort toward reconciliation to God in this moment for Adam and Eve. Their view of themselves drove a wedge in their relationship with God and in their relationship with each other (as well will explore next week).
Humankind's original sin was rooted in the desire to be like God (having too high a view of ourselves) and resulted in the desire to hide from God and each other (too low a view of ourselves). And today, this brokenness in our relationship to ourselves persists.
This type of relational poverty manifests in different ways and can drastically impact how we think about economic poverty alleviation. If you have ever heard the term "white savior complex", you know what I mean. If we as Westerners approach economic poverty alleviation with too high a view of ourselves and our power, we often unintentionally compound the shame that the economically poor experience. When we approach poverty alleviation in this way, both parties are pushed farther away from each other-- Westerners feel even more God-like and the economically poor feel even more shameful and unworthy.
At Untold, we address this relational poverty in a few different ways. First of all, we constantly try to acknowledge and reconcile our own relationship to ourselves as staff members both in the US and in Africa. We meditate on what it means to be made in the image of God and we do our best effort to work from that knowledge. For many of our clients, the shame and desperation caused by extreme economic poverty is compounded by the social stigma they experience because of their HIV status. We address this through one on one counseling and group therapy. We also impress upon clients the Biblical truth that they are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God.
Simply put, our ethos when it comes to serving the economically poor is this: "I am not okay, you are not okay, but Jesus can fix us both."
The very good news from Genesis is that, even when Adam and Eve were hiding in their shame, separating themselves from God, God sacrificed an animal to make clothes for them to cover their nakedness and rid them of shame. Even as God knew we were separating from him, he foretold a sacrifice that would cover us -- a sacrifice that would reconcile us to him, to ourselves, to each other, and to creation.
